Finding you

Emotions stumble

drunkenly towards the edge-

uninhibited

by what others think

floundering and falling down

left in disarray

on another day

you will find sunny smiles

when happiness speaks

love does that sometimes-

rolling turbulence today

still waters the next

while concealed depths

deceive the glassy surface

with images of joy

imagined or real-

they infect everyone else

especially you

shared feelings find

comfort for loneliness

when they recognize

the yearning you have-

a desperate emptiness

needing to drain out

before it becomes

like spreading cancerous cells

gnawing at your soul

you let down your guard

and invite all of them in-

the bliss and the hurt

passion’s pendulum

parades new colors each season-

no rhyme or reason

just the wild pursuit

the primeval quest to be

who you truly are.

The paradox is Me

two faces

I am crazy –but I’m fantastic!

I’m fickle but I’m also a woman of substance,

I’m a fool sometimes, but I’m also a genius,

I’m sultry and sullen, but oh so exciting!

I’m cool as a cucumber but so fiery and passionate!

 

I’m fixated and focused yet oh so scatterbrained,

I’m so dependable and reliable that it hurts

But I’m also so dependent

I’m so hurtful at times, but so sensitive that I cry.

I’m so lonely, yet I want to wallow in my aloneness.

 

I’m so self absorbed – yet giving too much of myself

I don’t love enough those I should be loving – waste

too much energy on those who do not care enough.

I want so much from those who have very little to give.

 

I want to solve the world’s problems without solving my own.

I want to be the art of perfection without perfecting my art,

 

Yet I am the pulsating, exciting music that throbs in your ears,

I am the waves that crash against each other,

I am the sun that peers behind a cloudy sky,

I am the earth that stretches boundless,

I am the unwritten text, the unexplored mountain, the green fig,

The ripened, juicy plum!

 

Tonight when I sleep, I will glide through lush meadows,

Sway among bobbying flowers, drink from cool streams,

Feel the sun kiss my skin, taste the ripe burst of succulent fruit,

Hear the sound of peaceful melodies, feel the comfort of being loved,

Experience the gentle touch of a loving hand, rise to highest crescendo of the maestro’s symphony, burst forth in song – triumphant!