I wonder

by Chevvy, posted in Poetry

As I roll back the years

Turn back the clock

Wipe away my tears of regret

I wonder

Were you ever really happy?

I’ve forgotten your smile

Something rare, seen once in a while

I wonder

What were you thinking

With the voices inside your head

That played havoc with your moods?

I wonder

Do you have the answers

To all the things that I seek?

Is it your voice, that calls me in my sleep?

I wonder

Was it written in the stars?

For your life to end that way

Never saying goodbye on that solitary day

I wonder

When I look up at the stars

Was it you who just winked at me

Reassuring me with your glimmering light?

I wonder

Will you blow out a candle

On this day when your life began

When you received your deck of cards?

I wonder

Was it you who held my hand

All those times when I felt so forlorn?

Is it you who leaves gifts for me everyday?

Perhaps I shouldn’t wonder – I already know.

When I gaze into the mirror and see you looking back at me.

28 thoughts on “I wonder”

    1. Thank you Kunal. It is a tribute to my late mother who passed away five years ago. Today is her birthday. I owe a lot of who I am to her and I guess she is still taking care of me where she is 😀 February is a month of many birthdays in our family.😀

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  2. Hello. What’s up? I hope everything’s doing well with you! I’ve been reading your posts and I just wanna let you know that because of posts like these, I am so proud to be a part of this community, you guys are creative and profound. I’ll follow your blog and I hope you could follow my Blog as well. Have fun writing! Thank you for being an inspiration to many. 🙂

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  3. This is beautiful Chevvy. Absolutely beautiful! Is this the poem you wanted me to look at? If it is, then I understand. Today is my brother’s 60th birthday and it is bitter sweet because of the past, not because he is not here. Birthdays are such poignant reminders of the treasured memories of yesteryear.
    Your mother is definitely around you Chevvy dear, you cant count on that!
    Much love to you. x

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    1. Yes, it is the poem. Today would have been her 79th birthday. My mother believed in ancestors so I know that she watches over me even in the afterlife. Fortunately, I have a mother-in-law who has been a second mother to me and tomorrow is her birthday.😀

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      1. Wow! I’m gobsmacked!!! Have you heard that term Chevvy? You were in London at one point, so it is likely that you may have.:)
        I just don’t know what to say – there is just so much here. Mother’s birthday just before your other ‘mother’s’ birthday? What are the chances?
        We need to talk girl! When you have the time. ..:)

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      2. I know it sounds uncanny doesn’t it? And yes, we do use the term “gobsmacked”
        There are things you say in your poem which strike a chord with bittersweet memories that sometimes take a lifetime to understand and appreciate.:-)

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      3. Dear Chevvy I am smiling and nodding. Need I say more? The poem just came to me this morning. I hadn’t even been thinking to write a post. The words came, I grabbed some paper and scribbled. I was going to post it sometime in the future, maybe next Wednesday, but something compelled me to do it today (even though I was pressed for time). Our mothers?? xx

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      7. Will you be posting that tomorrow? I’ll look out for it for sure. This really is feeling like Groundhog Day – it seems that every Friday around this time, I wish you a great weekend. Have a great one and also if you see your mother-in-law tomorrow hope you all have the best time celebrating! x

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      8. I’m impulsive – If I feel like it I might post today. We’re taking her out for breakfast tomorrow. We threw a birthday bash for her 80th last year. I’ll keep you posted. In the meanwhile, have a great weekend!

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      9. My friend is a Gemini (June 20th) and he is impulsive too – will just get an idea to go somewhere (nor round the corner, mind you), and he’ll be off in a flash. Me I need at least half an hour to plan to go to the ‘Ladies’! lol

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      10. Hahaha! If he is a Gemini, he might have two sides though. So I can be impulsive on the one hand but a procrastinator on the other hand. Right now, my brain is fried, I prefer writing early in the morning. I guess I was also feeling emotional about my mother this morning. Now don’t let me stop you from going about your business!😀

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  5. A beautiful tribute to your mom, Chevvy, especially the ending lines about the mirror. I, too, believe the important people we have lost remain with us in thought and spirit. Have a blessed day. 🙂

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  6. It is so uncanny that your mother-in -law’s birthday is a day after your mom’s!
    And, if I read correctly, they were about a year apart!
    There is a Divine plan at work my friend!
    A Divine plan ✨
    Amazing 🙂
    God bless your dear mother. I imagine that she and my Mom have met already 🙂

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    1. Lol over the years, I often confused their birthdays. I’m writing a poem for my mother-in-law and I can honestly say that I’ve had two mothers though their portraits are very different. Thank you Gwin and God bless both our mother’s souls 💖

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