I wonder

As I roll back the years

Turn back the clock

Wipe away my tears of regret

I wonder

Were you ever really happy?

I’ve forgotten your smile

Something rare, seen once in a while

I wonder

What were you thinking

With the voices inside your head

That played havoc with your moods?

I wonder

Do you have the answers

To all the things that I seek?

Is it your voice, that calls me in my sleep?

I wonder

Was it written in the stars?

For your life to end that way

Never saying goodbye on that solitary day

I wonder

When I look up at the stars

Was it you who just winked at me

Reassuring me with your glimmering light?

I wonder

Will you blow out a candle

On this day when your life began

When you received your deck of cards?

I wonder

Was it you who held my hand

All those times when I felt so forlorn?

Is it you who leaves gifts for me everyday?

Perhaps I shouldn’t wonder – I already know.

When I gaze into the mirror and see you looking back at me.

Sole journey

I love words,

their satin texture,

their rich timbre–

tasty morsels–

carefully arranged

on a platter,

wetting my appetite.

Yet I understood,

how those words

failed you,

when you went,

to that place–

beyond euphoria

or magic’s magnificence.

I moved with you,

in your solitary dance–

a spectator

to illusive images,

inconclusive insights,

evocative emotions

which you tried to convey.

In the end, I knew.

Words were wasted,

lost in translation

in a language that

you solely understood,

not spoken or heard.

On that journey…

we each must travel, alone.